Displaced Fairytale

So there’s this old washed up guitar player named Eric Miller who works at Town Pump. One day at work, Miller’s working and his old buddy from the high school band walks in. Wyatt the King is his name. Miller and Wyatt get to talking, and Miller finds out that while he dropped out to raise his kid, this guy got discovered and plays for The Wet Sprocket, one of the biggest names in the music industry. Miller finishes his shift and the two go to these really sleezy bars and reminisce about the old days. And when they’re less than sober, Miller starts telling stories to try and save face. He starts to brag about this daughter, and how she’s a really great musician herself, and while Miller’s career failed, his daughter will make it big. And the friend yeah, sure Miller. And Miller gets pissed, so he tells his old buddy the rock star that his daughter writes beautiful music, that she’s a composer. And his buddy says, really? And Miller starts going on and on about how amazing the music is, and the guy gets fed up and calls bullshit. And Miller says, no really. She can. So the buddy says, alright. If she’s really that brilliant, I will listen to a song that she’s written. And if it’s gold, I’ll record it for my next album and give you full royalties. And that sounds pretty good to Miller, so when he stumbles home the next day he puts his daughter on a bus and sends her downtown to the King’s recording studio. And the girl starts crying on the bus, because she’s never written a measure of music in her life but she doesn’t want to let her father down. So she’s panicking and not sure what to do when this kid with huge glasses and owl eyes sits down next to her. What’s wrong? He asks. And she tells him everything. He listens without saying anything, and when she finishes he’s like: But I’m a composer. I could help you out. And she’s like oh man that would be so awesome if you could! But why would you help me? And he’s says, I’m a good guy. But also, I really dig seeing you. Could we have a date after you get out of this mess? And she says yes and gives him her number, and he hands over this sheet of music. Well, Wyatt the King loves the music. He records the song and plays it for all his buddies, and they think it’s gold too. So Wyatt wants another one. But the girl doesn’t have another one. So she calls up owl eyes and is like, duuuuuude. That was so good, the King wants another song. Could you write another one? And the composer says yes, because I’m a good guy. But also, I would really like to see you again. Would you like to go on this trip to the coast with me this fall? The trees are so beautiful then…and because the girl is scared and doesn’t know what else to do, she agrees. So the composer sends her another song and the King loves it and records it. By this point, both of these singles have attracted the attention of everyone the King has played it for. And the King decides he wants an entire album written exclusively by Miller’s daughter and wants to hire Eric Miller as the lead guitarist for the upcoming tour. So the Miller’s daughter, who loves that her father is finally happy and about to live his dream, runs to the composer and asks for an entire album of work. And the composer says, yes, I will, because I’m a good guy. But Miller’s daughter, I love you. Marry me, and I’ll do whatever you ask. And even though the Miller’s daughter doesn’t love him, she agrees because she loves her father and they have sex for the first time that night. So the composer gives her an entire album, and when the king hears it he is so overjoyed that he asks the Miller’s daughter to marry him and cowrite all of his songs, because he’s fallen in love with her music as well as her. And the Miller’s daughter doesn’t know what to do, but she loves her father so she says yes and sleeps with the King. Later that night, she gets a call from the composer, who’s crying, saying that she played him and doesn’t love him. And she’s says, but yes, I do! And I’m pregnant with your child. And the composer says I want nothing more to do with you. But I want that child. And she says you can’t have it, I’m going to marry the King and he’ll raise it as his child and we’ll tour the country in our band. And the composer says fine. If you can prove that you loved me, I’ll let you keep the child and have nothing more to do with you. And she says, oh yes, but how will I prove it to you? And he says: speak my name. And then she realizes that she doesn’t know his name. She never asked. So he says call me when you find it out, but if you don’t by the time the kid is born it’s mine. You owe me that much at least, and hangs up the phone. So she’s distraught. She takes to walking the streets at night and visiting bars to try to forget her troubles. One night, she goes to the Cat’s Paw and the composer is up on the stage for open mic night, performing an original song. And it goes like this:

Today I’m blue, but tomorrow’s day is new

The next I’ll have the product of a love gone sour

I hope that whore never knew

That my name is Ronald Brouwer!

So she calls him the next day and says your name is Ronald Brouwer. Maybe you shouldn’t have sang about that at the Cat’s Paw last night. And he screams the devil led you there! The devil! And snaps his phone in half.